I want to start by talking about my life till now. How I met my partner and more, so you have an quick update about our life.
I've known Julian for 13 years.. Before we met I was just starting my 'Bachelor in Education'. We were 18 years old. We met at a bar, a friend told me he was my co-worker (I worked at a fastfood restaurant to pay for school) and we said hello to him. I never saw him at the job, but hé, he looks nice. We started talking and texting and one day we were more than just co-workers and friends.
On september 7th 2005 we became an item. His humor, sense of music and his eyes were his best qualities. It was easy to talk to him. He really was my best friend.. We were both 18 and full of life. We had lot of ups and downs along the way, but we stuck it out.
When we were 20 we moved-in together. It was a crappy cold appartement, but it was our first home.
Two years later we were forced to live with our parents again, our appartement would be demolished that year. We could not find an appartement while being students. In 2009 I gratuated, I worked hard and got a Bachelor in Ecucation. I would start a carrière in teaching. Julian did not like school very much. He liked learning while working, better. We did not agree on this subject.. I am very ambitious and he was okay with how it was. That was frustrating sometimes.
I did nog get along with his family. They would think that I was an elite girl. I am studying at college and they have not studied. They would not really talk to me, only to make fun of me. I did not like them an they did not really like me, but thats okay now.
They only would talk to Julian if they needed something or needed help with the computer or something.
Julian would feel unappreciated and leftout sometimes. I am not saying my parents were the best, but they would support me to go to school. They motivated me to work hard. His parents did not, and he always felt the need to pretend he was ‘better’ than he actually was. But he was fine as he was. He struggled with himself and always comparing our lives. I set the bar to high I think. Or his parents to low.. He did not want anything to do with them after they did something unlawful.
We really had our ups and downs. We almost broke up a few times. We struggled, he lost his job a couple of times, lied about it and hid his financial problems to me, but we found our way back to eachother. Now I think I was to scared to walk away. To scared to be alone. The new me would have walked. But I will talk about that another time.
I worked really hard to get a contract at my school. After six years I finally got the recognition. Four days in my OWN classroom. They wouldn't give me five days unfortunately. But hé, I got four! It was time to look at the future.
One day we were shopping and walking back to the car. He wanted to talk about having kids. I really freaked out at that moment. I cried the whole ride back. How could he ask me that at that moment?? I always said I wanted children, but I choked when he said he wanted to start a family. At that moment I didn't know for sure if I wanted to have children. I now know why I choked, but that is for another time.
He wanted to have kids, I had doubts. I wanted to own a house before we had kids, I wanted him to get his drivers licence before I had to give birth to a child. I did not want to drive myself to the hospital or ask my parents to drive me. He had to grow up!
We bought our first house at the beginning of 2016, after that we tried to have children. I came around. I felt the pressure of having kids. I was almost thirty.
In august 2016 we got pregnant. He got his drivers licence in january 2017 and I gave birth in april 2017 to our son Finn (who came three weeks early). Maybe it was the stress of him losing his job again two months before Finn would be born, and not be able to find another so soon.
At least I did not have to drive myself (but I could have, I did not have any bad contractions).
The birth of Finn was the best moment in years. I really loved him from the start, but I didn't really got to enjoy my time with him. Julian was always there. He wouldn't get out of the house, except to get some groceries. Julian was really a great dad, he loved his son very much. Hé was so proud. I was proud to, I love my son, but I was not on cloud nine. It was exhausting. I began to resent him a little. I was glad when I got to go to work again (I even started four weeks early, so I could have a sort of ‘me-time’.
Julian eventually found a job when I just started working. So we needed arrangements for daycare and babysitting by my parents. We decided (well I decided that he got to work four days, not five. He wanted to start a family, I earned more, so I did not want to work less). He agreed. Finn would be one day at the daycare en two days with my parents. We both had a day with Finn. This was the perfect arrangement.
So now you know a lot more about our lives.